Spud

The topic of having children has been a source of countless discussions and often times a “sore subject.” Wanting to make “safe” and “smart” choices has always been at the top of our list. We talked about children, adoption, and surrogacy, long before we married. The medical complexities, along with the financial burden, at times left us feeling defeated.  

Jay has always played the role of optimist and I love him for that. I happen to play the pessimistic "what if games,” while he says “what if everything’s all right?” Our friend Dave somehow understood us both in our conversations, and his positive perspective began to seep into my mind. It wasn’t however, until attending a long time friend Erica’s baby shower, did I feel more ready to take on this task. Yes, I did say task, because it wasn’t going to be an easy journey; it was going to be work, and scary at that. Since my friend and I share the same name, throughout the shower I admit I was excited. I mean, this could be me someday.  It really struck me when we showered Erica with prayers. I felt overwhelmed by emotion, that I too, have a strong support network, that if we choose to move forward with a family (whatever way we choose to), I would be covered in prayers.  As I was driving home from that shower the song “Walk by Faith” by Jeremy Camp streamed through the radio. The lyrics brought me to tears. At that moment I made the commitment to abandon my feelings, and fears, and surrender myself under God’s hands.  I came home to tell Jay that I was ready; let’s move forward.

“I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize.” 

Philippians 3:13 NLT 

Unbeknownst to all of you, we started the process of family planning a year ago April, while simultaneously searching to purchase our first home (condo). We first met with my cardiology team to determine if having a baby was even an option for me. As a child, with my uncommon congenital heart defect, the topic of pregnancy was not recommended. Going into this appointment, Jay and I didn’t have high expectations. We figured, much the same was true today. We were quite surprised to find out that patients with similar heart defects have gone on to have healthy children with the mothers remaining in good health. We also learned that UCLA is one of the few hospitals who have had experience with prenatal care and delivery of congenital heart patients and have a recommended team that coordinate and closely monitor these patients with OB care, and cardiology care.  

After meeting with cardiology, I also met with my thyroid doctor and primary care physician, so that they knew what was going on and could further monitor my health.  At the end of April,  I began to decrease one of my heart medications (which I cannot be on at all during pregnancy).  About a month after I began the medication decrease, I had an echo test on my heart. The results were good, so with the go ahead from my team, I discontinued the medication completely. After about three months, I had a stress echo (echo with exercise on a treadmill) and the results again were well. Before going forth with starting a family, we first wanted a consultation with the UCLA OB that has experience with congenital heart patients as noted above. In order to do this, we had to go through some usual red tape for insurance. We saw a local OB who quickly made a referral to UCLA. In September 2010, I finally got the consultation.  I met with my OB and nurse practitioner and, as you might imagine drilled them with questions.  By mid September, we began to try for a baby. Getting to this point alone, was a miracle in itself.  

"Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord."

Psalms 102:18

Throughout this process and even with the purchase of our condo there has been much anxiety, but continually, God has been faithful at encouraging us, talking to us through His word, and guiding our steps even if we question them. Whenever, caught in doubt, I was reminded not to rely on my emotions, but focus on God’s truth and His promises.  

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

Since we began trying, we of course have settled into our new nest, and have also had a change in medical insurance provider. This caused us to go through some more red tape, but so far this has been manageable. At the end of March, we showed positive pregnancy tests.

We quickly notified my entire medical team, and scheduled appointments right away. My thyroid medicine has already been adjusted, I had another stress echo which looked good, and at our first OB appointment (at 6weeks 5days), I had an ultrasound so we got to see the baby, and hear the heart beat. It was a surreal experience. The official due date is December 9th. For obvious health risks, they don't want me to go into labor on my own. Delivery will be planned, labor induced, and epidural given. Therefore, my delivery will be scheduled anytime after 37 weeks. The anticipated arrival of Spud is Thanksgiving week.  Unless complications arise, we don't expect that I will be on bed rest. They want me to stay as active as possible which reduces my risk for blood clots. Although this process has been exciting, we have always remained cautious, and to continue with this, we decided to hold out on telling our family and friends until Spud had been around for awhile. Since the pregnancy, I have been feeling fine, no sickness, just a little dizziness,  light spotting, neither of which lasted long, and frequent thyroid dosage adjustments. Finally, we decided to tell our family for Mother’s Day.

Since my mom was going to Colorado to be with my grandmother during her surgery, we celebrated Mother’s Day on Sunday May First at our place. I knew for a long time that I would want to tell my family through a cake, so that I could write Grandma or Grandpa in Greek hence, "Yiayia" on the cake. It was a blessed experience.

Mother's Day weekend we told  my grandparents and Aunt Peggy (who was also in town for the upcoming surgery) in Colorado via Skype. I was excited to receive  my own Mother's Day surprise when these flowers came in the mail with a beautiful card that made me choke up. Note the color of the flowers, blue Irises and pink Tulips (boy/girl)?

We told Jay's family on Mother's Day by including a framed copy of the ultrasound with a special message "Hi Nana" that was placed with the other gifts for mom JoAnne. It was fun that it ended up being the last gift to unwrap. We didn't anticipate how excited our eldest nephew Kellen was in having a cousin. On our drive to dinner together we called Julie and Matt (Jay's sister and husband). We had Kellen share the news that he was going to have a cousin.

 

Nana and Yiayia each got one of these flower seed packets with their Mother's Day gift. 

Since we have enjoyed carrying around this secret for over a year, we have decided to keep names and sex a secret too. It's not recommended that cardiac patients such as myself have additional children naturally, so likely if we want to grow our family again we'd look at adoption or surrogacy. Because of this, I feel even more strongly that I don't want to know the sex of Spud. I'm hoping that although Jay can read x-rays well, he can be blind to any gender markings on the ultrasounds. 

Know that if we could, we'd tell each of you in person. Thank you for helping make revealing our secret so much fun! We are so blessed that God has brought us this miracle and we look forward to sharing Spud's journey into the world with you. We know we don't have to even ask, but please keep us in your prayers.  At the time of publishing this post Spud is 10 weeks 1 day.  Video will be coming soon of revealing Spud to our family and friends. Next week we have another OB appointment, so check back soon as our blog will be our preferred tool for sharing updates.

Happy (belated) Mother's Day to all moms and mom's to be!